Valentine’s day to be renamed national Sex Day

As of this year Valentine’s day is being renamed National Sex Day. It has come as welcome news to married couples everywhere. This means that from now on shops will not be able to sell Valentine’s cards or stupid teddy bears holding hearts.

Mr Tightwad of Essex is very much in favour of the change ‘ well it’s great news. From now on I don’t have to buy all that over priced scrap, and I’m still guaranteed some action. Mind you my misses is butt ugly so even that is a chore. Can’t we change it to National sit on my arse day?’

So lads and ladies, remember this February the 14th, no cards and bears just heavy petting and sex games

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